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American Standard

American Standard

So, I really can’t imagine that there is a person who does something like that! Or could I be wrong here?

Read Time:3 Minute, 28 Second

Suppose you’re already pointing a naked finger at other cultures..

>>See this article on youtube

.. and making fun of their realities. In that case, that also means the 4 remaining fingers are pointing back at yourself, and your behaviour can make you look pretty stupid. Nevertheless, you can experience strange things in foreign countries – the reason that you are not used to in your own culture – and talk about it.

American Standard

After landing and the annoying questioning at border control, I had to go to the restroom at the airport on my first visit to the USA. Quickly following the signs, I arrived at the >> gentlemen’s room<<, opened the door and had the selection of the individual cabins because I was alone in there. Two, three steps more, and I investigated the first cabin: Oops! Totally flooded! It can sometimes happen in such a location as an airport. Indeed a few thousand guests come into the toilet rooms. Therefore, I went to the second cubicle: Oops! Also flooded! Well, someone must have made a significant effort here, I thought to myself. I also noticed that, as before, the toilet brush was missing. Do they deliberately not put one here because visitors regularly steal them? As the toilet bowl in the third cubicle was flooded almost to the brim, it occurred to me: Maybe that’s the way it must be? I bent over and carefully pressed the metal flush lever, hoping not to flood everything in the very next moment.

FLUSH!

Ah, so that’s how it works here.

The water comes back, and it looks the same as before. Great – that saves the toilet brush, too. This was also the moment when the lettering on the ceramic burned itself into my consciousness for the rest of my life: American Standard! I think that’s an excellent name for a device that was helpful to human needs, to relieve oneself. American Standard. First, put everything underwater and then wait until the emergency occurs, and then flush everything away. Toilet paper, dog, cat, mouse, smartphone and even the contents of some wallets, everything disappears, circling counter-clockwise with a gurgle in the goodbye-veins of the sewage system.

Then sitting down, I laughed hard at myself, my experience, and my thoughts of the non-existent toilet brushes, which someone could have probably stolen. The reader notices here perhaps at this point the 4 fingers which were mentioned above? I never steal anything in hotels, airport toilets or any foreign places. Already to come on the thought to take the toilet brush at airports as a souvenir, I found, here now sitting, very funny.

Who in God’s name steals toilet brushes?

You’d probably have a lot of work to do to present the collection in your living room: Flying around the world: Wellington, Hanoi, Rio and Tokio, searching a loo at the airport and after doing your business there, sticking the dripping toilet brush in your rolling suitcase or if you’re just in jeans and shirt, attach it to the backside of your trousers! “Oh no! Officer, it is mine! I brought it from my hometown. I’m used to using my own brush in the restrooms around the world!” … “Yes, Sir, but it’s dripping while sticking at the backside of your trousers. It’s freshly used! And it looks like one being from our airport loo!” … “Oh well, it’s … it’s … because …” …. you see here, you will need a good answer to the lofty airport officer who caught you red-handed, who has searched for many years for the infamous International Wanted Toilet Brush Thief Phantom!

Like other people hang antlers, different people have sand collections from many foreign beaches on their shelves. A collection of toilet brushes from airports worldwide in an orderly row on the living room wall, carefully labelled, with location, time and date and a selfie with a haughty smiling face, proudly presenting to the visitors. So, I really can’t imagine that there is a person who does something like that! Or could I be wrong here?

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