Today a colleague told me that he was married in Chile 20 years ago by a catholic priest, and he got the 3-in-1-package-wedding that he hadn’t ordered…

>> On the day of my marriage, they sent me, an alien here in Chile, to a barber two hours before my wedding. It wasn’t a hairdresser’s shop, it was an ordinary house, how they are here in this region. People know each other, and they know where they have to go if they have any needs. Grocery? The house with the blue veranda in the middle of the street. Pharmacy? Left building down to the primary school and barber: right way down to the little lake, the small one opposite the church. <<

>> I sat on my stool, and the barber cut my hair and asked me about everything like barbers do. About my parents, about my sisters… everything. I told him because here, everyone knows everyone—no place for secrets. I don’t have any secrets to hide, so I told him. He knew about my wedding and said to me that the girl I am going to marry is a good girl, that he is not actually a barber, and he too came from Germany. <<

>> What a surprise! So, we made our conversation in German, and I thought to myself that he is very old and maybe he escaped here from World-War-2. I didn’t tell him my thoughts, I could be wrong, and that would be rude. I didn’t want to upset him as he had my hairstyle in his hands! He knew everything about me, and I knew nothing about him, other than he is not really a barber and that he came here from Germany. He finished his work but didn’t remove the barbers’ cape from me. <<

>> He went out and came back after a second or two and brought some little things. I thought it would be something for my hair, but he began to light two candles on the table in front of me. Then he began chanting and singing in Spanish. My Spanish isn’t Madrid-style, only Berlin-Kreuzberg-style. I did not understand what he was chanting and waved his chaplet over my head the whole time. I watched him in the mirror behind me, singing. He went around me a couple of times with his chaplet. When he had finished, I wanted to know why he had performed that little ceremony. He replied: Oh, I only did a minor exorcism for you, to ban the evil. <<

>> He did not want any pay but told me to go to the wedding, so I went out into the sun. There were a lot of people waiting. The church was on the opposite side. The guests for our celebration had passed by, and I was unsure if any of them would know what had happened whilst I was at the barber’s. I entered into some light conversation. There were only 20 minutes until the wedding. I was so excited. When the time came, we went into the church. The priest arrived wearing his religious robes and guess what…It was the German barber who had just given me a haircut and thrown in a free impromptu exorcism to ban any evil! GOSH! <<

>> So, we were married by a non-barber-German, with the knowledge that I am free of all evil. We had the wedding ceremony and partied until midnight. The next day I told my brand-new wife about my visit to the barbers’ place, the German-speaking barber and the exorcise. Her only reply was: “Yes, he is a good priest, and your haircut is fine!” So I got a 3-in-1-package-wedding: haircut, exorcise and marriage. <<

>> Now, years after this, I try to remember this little exorcise. I can’t remember if the priest/ barber used holy water, but I think not, as he wouldn’t be able to baptise me as I already had been baptised. As this was a village that had no secrets, he would have known this about me. But what I can say to you is this – He was a good priest, and my haircut was fine! “ <<